Chapter 1:
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I made one last turn on the ice covered road and breathed a sigh of relief when I finally pulled into a park. I scooped Anna from her chair and quickly made my way to Ashleys apartment.
"Oh Zac!" Mary-Kate cried, burying her head in my chest, the moment I opened the door. "I can't believe he's gone! And Ashley.... I've never seen her like this!"
She led me into the lounge. Ashley was curled up on the sofa with a blanket draped loosely around her shoulders. She stared at the tv screen but it was obvious she wasn't taking in what she saw. Her eyes were red and bloodshot. She didn't look up when I said her name.
I turned back to Mary-Kate "What do you want me to do?"
"Could you call the airport? Try to find out for sure if he was on the plane?"
I nodded and walked over to the phone.
---Ashley---
I watched Zac walk over to the phone.
He and Mary-Kate likely thought I was unaware of what was going on around me but it isn't true. I know. I just can't seem to do anything... speak or even move..
Zac put the phone back down then lifted it again. He pressed some buttons then shook his head. "Lines dead" He told Mary-Kate.
The lights flickered then went out.
"...So's the power" he concluded.
---Josh---
I'm such an idiot. I'm the worlds biggest dweeb! Goon... fool... IDIOT!
It's for sure. I'm going to be LATE TO MY OWN FUNERAL!!
I missed the plane
I'm a fool who missed his plane!!!!!!
Last one for a week.
AND - I - MISSED - IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hold on, everyones crowding by the tv set. Whats going on???
Oh boy.... the plane crashed...
I have to call Ashey!
Nope, the phones are dead. The operator says the powers out in New York City as are the phonelines. And teh blizzard is cutting off the satellites, the cell phone doesn't work..
Oh man, she thinks I'm dead!!!!!!
---Mary-Kate---
"Come on Ashley! You need some sleep" I tried to coax my sister to go to bed.
She just continued to stare at the tv.
"Ashley please. It's 3am"
Nothing.
I sighed and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders a little tighter.
---Josh---
"But I need to get to New York City!" I screamed, slamming my fists down on the desk.
The man jumped a little but continued on like a broken record "The roads are all blocked! It's impossible, and no buses will be running!"
"You're trying to get to NYC?" A bald middle aged man with a briefcase asked, walking over to me.
"Yes. I missed my plane... which crashed. And I can't contact my... friends to tell them I'm ok"
"I'm driving there" He said.
The bus guy gaped at him "What are you nuts?" He asked in shock.
"You want a ride?" The old guy asked, paying no attention to the bus guy.
"I would love one!" I said, grinning.
He smiled and extended a hand for me to shake "I'm Sam"
"I'm Josh" I said, shaking his hand.
"So Josh, you do know I expect the whole story about these 'friends'?" He declared as he showed me to the car.
I raised an eyebrow "Am I that see through?"
"I've had 'friends' before. Girlfriends, wives and ex wives being what we're talking about right?"
I nodded. "Yeah. Well.. it's a long story" I sighed.
---Ashley---
Now that you're gone.
Things won't ever be the same, again
Zac and Mary-Kate had gone to bed, leaving me alone in silence. I was on the sofa still. The sofa... Josh. I can't think about that though. So I'd put some batteries into my walkman. The last thing I need is to be alone in silence with my thoughts.
The song I was listening to was an old Michelle Branch one.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little
And I feel it now you're the one that I need
I believe that I, would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Isn't it amazing how songs sum up your feelings?
I don't know what to do.
Why didn't I realize it?
When he was always here... I didn't realize... I couldn't live without him. I didn't realize how I.. still felt.
And I'm asking
And I'm wanting you to come back to me
Please?
Chapter 2:
|
"...So, I crashed into a car and she went balistic! We fought every time we saw each other for the next 2 years"
Sam nodded "Sounds familiar - The fighting bit -"
"Well then we started dating. It didn't even last a week. Then we fought for the next year. Then we..." I paused. Knowing how stupid it all sounded "Got married"
"Well thought out jump there!" Sam said sarcastically.
I nodded "That lasted for under two weeks. She wanted to stay in New York and I wanted to go to Chicago"
"So you left?"
"Yup, she found out the same I left that she was pregnant"
"Yikes"
"But she didn't tell me till I came back to deliver the divorce papers. At which time her brother-in-law was in a major accident. So I stuck around to support the family. Then when I found out she was pregnant Imoved back to NYC"
"With her?"
"Till I get my own apartment"
"Like that'll happen" Sam chuckled knowingly. "It all sounds like something from a soap opera!"
I nodded again "Actually... I move out next week"
"Oh" was all he said.
"She has a boyfriend" I supplised.
"Ooooooooh!"
"Yup. My life is just one big soap opera!"
"Bummer man"
---Josh---
"Regardless of this... 'boyfriend'. When you get back you have to talk to her!" Same said decisively.
"No way! I can't!"
"You have to!"
"You think?" Ok. So I change my mind quickly! So sue me!
"I know! I should have done the same, but I didn't. I chickenedout and I'm now 40, alone, and regretting it every single day"
I stared out the window at the glistening snow that blanketed everything in sight. Maybe he's right..
---Zac---
There was a knock at the door the next morning. A guy in his early twenties was standing there. He looked a little taken aback when he saw me.
"Um, is Ashley here?" He asked
"Yup. Mark right?" Boy did I know a lot about this guy. What with Mary-Kate's daily rantings about him...
"..Yeah" He eyed me warily.
"I'm Zac. Mary-Kate's husbands" I said extending a hand.
"Ooooooh! Sorry about that!" He said shaking it.
"No problem. Un... Josh's flight was last night-" I started.
His eyes widened "The one that crashed?"
I nodded.
"Oh man" He put a hand to his head "Ashley" He whispered.
"She's through there" I said pointing toward the lounge.
He nodded and thanked me. Then walked inside.
---Ashley---
I'd been in the lounge listlessly staring at the walla when Mark walked in.
He waved to Vic who was fiddling around with the tv set. 'Everwood', her favorite show, was on and she didn't think a citywide power cut warranted reason enough to cause her to miss it.
I'm not sure what she thought she could achieve. It's not like the television could be battery operated. But yeah..
"Hey" Mark said quietly. He sat down next to me and took my hand in his "How are you doing?"
I opened my mouth to answer but still couldn't say anything. So I just shook my head and looked away.
He pulled me into a hug and whispered soothing words. But I still felt completely alone..
---Melanie---
I can't believe whats happening, Josh... dead. It's unbelievable. Like some kind of nightmare.
Ashley couldn't be more heartbroken, and it's obvious to everyone how she really felt about him...
I guess you never know what you've got till it's gone.
And you should never leave things too late... As the song says... 'If tomorrow never comes'
---Josh---
We've been traveling for days now. And we're just on the outskirts of New York City.
The blizzard passed over yesterday, but the road hasn't been thoroughtly plowed...
So, traveling is kinda dangerous...
---Mary-Kate---
The lights flickered then turned on. 'The Powers Back!' I called happily.
"What about the phones?" Mel asked, looking rather anxious.
I picked itup, then put it down sadly, "Nope"
Mel kicked the wall a little "Damn!"
"Mel?" I looked at her, feeling rather worried.
Her eyes filled with tears, either from the pain of kicking the wall or something else, but she just shook her head and walked away.
Chapter 3:
|
I gave up the shop.
I don't want to do it on my own. So I sent back the merchandise, unfortunately I couldn't get the refun on the lease. But thats life I guess. Need a shop?
Now I've gotta decide what I'm going to do next. I want to leave San Fransisco and go to New York City. But not because of Melanie. I've given up on that idea..
---Josh---
"Maybe we should stop" I sugged as Sam manuevered the car over a small lump of snow that had fallen from the plow. I was gripping the armrest on the door so hard my knuckles had gone white.
He shook his head "I need to get to my sister as soon as possible, She's really sick"
"I'm sorry"
"And you need to get to Ashley" He added decisively.
"Yeah... I need to get to Ashley..." I thought for a moment "Sam, I can't do it"
"Sure you can. You have to!"
"But what if-"
He put up a hand to stop me "First rule. No 'what ifs'. They only make it harder" He pointed to a street sign "How far are we from your apartment?"
I gave him the directions then checked to see if my mobile was working yet. I must have left it on since the batteries were 100% dead. I'm so clever. Oh well, only a few minutes from Ashleys anyway... Yay?
---
"Promise me you'll talk to her" Sam said as he handed me my bags outside Ashleys apartment building. "I'm not saying right away, when you're ready. But don't wait any longer then necessary. You never know what tomorrow brings.."
I nodded "I will. I don't know how yet, but somehow I will"
He smiled "I'm glad. I hope everything goes well Josh"
"Me too" I said with a gulp. We said good-bye, and I started inside the building.
---Ashey---
I was sitting with Mark on the sofa, Zac and Mary-Kate were talking in hushed whispers in the kitchen, about me I'm sure. The news was on, some article about bush fires in Australia. It was heartbreaking to watch, but as with most things lately I didn't feel any emotion..
But then the article changed to one about Josh's plane crashing. There was an investigation into what had happened. Again they played that shot of it crushing into a fireball! And I.. snapped.
I couldn't breath and there was such a pain in my chest it felt like someone was standing on it. I felt like I was choking and oh the pain.. it felt like I was dying! I lept up and started to pace.. an old habit I used to do in my teens when I was upset.
"Ashley" Marks voice was laced with concern. He walked over to me but I pushed him away.
"No" I whispered in a choked voice "NO!" I repeated. This time in a scream "No, No, No, NO!" I repeated over and over, pressing the palms of my hands to my head.
Zac and Mary-Kate raced into the room. The concern on their faces only made it hurt even more. I spun around and ran for the door. I threw it open and raced outside, ignoring their desperate cries for me to stay.
---Josh---
I was walking down the hall toward Ashleys door, when from a distance I saw her run from it. She was acting so strange. So... hysterical.
Why?... Because of me?
She was looking at the ground as she ran, so she hadn't seen me. But each step was bringing her closer to me.
She was only a few feet away from me now. As she reached me I leaned forward and caught her arms "Ashley" I said. I wasn't sure if she'd heard me at first. She didn't look up, just tried to break free from me. "Ashley!" I repeated, "Look at me!"
She let out a ragged sob "Your voice. It sounds.. so like..." She couldn't continue as sobs overtook her.
"Ashley, it's me" I let go of one arm and place a hand under chin, gently lifting it till she was looking at me.
She blinked. Then shook her head, as if trying toclear her vision. She blinked some more. Then backed away from me, her facewhite. "Y-You're not r-real" she whispered, shaking her head.
"Ashley, it's me. I'm fine. I missed the plane"
Her eyes were wide "J-Josh?" She whispered. She backed away a little, then she just fell... unconcious, to the floor, landing with a thud. I raced to her side, taking her hand in mine.
"Ashley!" Mary-Kates voice called from down the hallway.
I looked up and for the first time realized she, Zac and... Mark had seen the whole thing. "She's ok." I said "A case of shock, I think"
Mary-Kate reached me. Her face almost identically mirroring her twins a moment before. Really pale.. "Is it really you?"
I nodded "I'm ok"
---Melanie---
Will wonders ever cease? Needless to say I was indefinably shocked when Mary-Kate called to tell me Josh was alive. I didn't really believe it. And the whole trip there I was wondering what was going on. Maybe Mary-Kate had been 'sleep...phoning' or something.
But no.
When I walked into the apartment everything was in a state of hysteria. Vic was watching a re-run of Everwood, she had the volume reasonably low, and was sitting really close so she could hear it, but the dialogue of the characters still added to the noise in the room. She seemed oblivious to everything but the tv set.
Ashley was unconcious on the couch.... I'm not sure why.
Zac and Josh were discussing the mechanics of airoplanes and what went wrong with Josh's flight. Needless to say the snippets of the conversation I caught went straight over my head. Nothing more boring then mechanics.
While I was standing in the doorway waiting for someone to notice me, Mary-Kate walked in from the kitchen with a glass of water. She walked over to Ashley and dumped it on her face.
"Mary-Kate!" Zac scolded his wife.
Ashley sputtered "Huh?" She asked sitting up.
"Everyone move out!" Mary-Kate ordered "Not you!" She said to Josh, then turned to Ashley and put her hands up in a 'stay' motion. "Come on Vic!" She said, pulling on Vics arm.
"But.... he kissed her... and... he said...and... but if... It's the grand finale!" She whined.
"NOW!"
Shoulders slumped, she obeyed.
Once everyone but Josh and Ashley was in the hall, Mary-Kate closed the door behind us.
"Honey... may I ask what you're doing?" Zac asked.
"They need to talk" She said simply.
Vic sighed noisily "I'm going to see my brother. Obviously he needs me right now" With that she walked away.
"I'm guess he has a tv set?" I asked. Having in a short time comprehended Vic's 'Everwood' addiction.
"You catch on quick!" Mary-Kate said with a laugh.
I smiled then glanced at the closed door. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall for this conversation..
Chapter 4:
|
I sat on the sofa watching Josh's every move, as he paced around the room. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to watch him.. The way hids hands clenched into fitts then loosened, then clenched again as he paced. A sure sign that he was nervous. The way his chin was so profound as a result of him grinding his teeth together. The way he kept glancing at me, then looking away as soon as our eyes met.
If I was right and this was all a cruel dream I wanted to memorize every aspect of him, while I had the chance.
Finally grasping the ability of speech he asked "How have you been?"
Ok, so how do I answer that? "Not so good" I said simply.
He nodded "I'm sorry you went through that. I mean, thinking I was dead... and that you'd have to go through having the baby on your own and everything"
I nodded, though I'd barely even thought of that aspect. I just couldn't bare the thought of never seeing him again "Yeah..." I whispered.
He glanced over at me, just noticing something "You're wearing the necklace I got you"
I reached up to touch it "I never took it off" I answered quietly.
He looked surprised but didn't say anything.
---Zac---
We drove home that night in silence. Melanie was in the back with Anna, who was out cold. And Mary-Kate and I didn't say anything. Probably since we were in too much of a state of shock.
When we got home Melanie went straight to her/Anna's room, offering to put Anna to bed for Mary-Kate and I.
We went to our room and got ready for bed. Mary-Kate was brushing her hair and I was sitting on the edge of the bed thinking "Wow" I said, finally breaking the silence.
Mary-Kate turned and walked over to me "I can't believe it" She said quietly. I patted the bed next to me and she sat down, resting her head on my shoulder. "My prayers were answered" She continued, though I couldn't see her face I knew she was smiling. "I prayed for help for Ashey. I wasn't expecting this though"
"Think big" I said with a chuckle.
---Melanie---
Once Anna was securely tucked into bed and I was confident Zac and Mary-Kate were asleep, I got out the cordless phone that I'd hidden under my pillow, and dialed back home.
The first set of ringing I still felt reasonably confident. The second and I started to wonder what I was going to say. The third and I started to wind the cord around my fingers nervously. The fourth and I was practically sweating. By the fifth set of ringing the answering machine clicked on.
"Life s*cks and I'm not here. Get over it" Michaels voice answered in an unusually irritated tone. He doesn't usually sound like that..
The beep sounded and I opened my mouth to speak. But I had no clue what to say. A moment passed, then admitting defeat I hung up.
I think I've made a really big mistake.
How did I let this happen???
---Ashley---
I'm lying in bed staring at the cieling. And I'm expected to sleep? Like hello!
Well Vic is staying the night at Marks. She didn't say anything to me when she came back for her clothes. I think she's mad at me. Something to do with Mark, but other then I'm not sure why..
Josh is on the sofa. I think. Unless the dreams over and he's gone again. Oh man, I have to go check.
Yeah, he's there. How sweet. He looks like a little boy when he's asleep.
---Mary-Kate---
"Ok, Anna. Stop kicking!" I sighed. Dressing a baby who won't stop... dancing, isn't the easiest of things. Hmmm, maybe I should get her dancing lessons when she's old enough, "Anna! I mean it!"
"Hey Honey" Zac said walking into the room and leaning down to kiss me.
"Hey Sleepyhead" Since he was on vacation for I'm not sure how long, he'd taken to the habit of sleeping in. And believe me the name fit.
"Mel out apartment searching?"
"Yeah. I'm worried about her, she seems so sad..."
---Michael---
Aren't silent voice messages the most annoying things? It's SOOO frustrating when curiosity takes over and you HAVE to know who it was! But of course theres NO way of knowing! ARGH!
And the main reason I'm so frustrated is I have a sneaking suspicion as to just who it was...
But why is Melanie calling me now? After two full weeks of not taking my calls?
---Josh---
The next day was the day I was set to move into my apartment, a few blocks from Ashleys. When she woke up and ventured from her room, I told her my plans. She suddenly looked rather small and very pale.
"Ashley? You ok?" I asked. I took her hands and led her over to the sofa.
"I'm fine" she whispered. She was actually shivering.
"You sure?" I put a hand to her forehead to check for a temperature. Her skin felt normal, though I noticed she stopped shivering and closed her eyes the moment I touched her. Suddenly she was completely calm. "Then whats wrong?" I regretfully moved my hand away. Thankfully she didn't start shivering again.
It's just... I... could... you.. maybe... stay here just a little longer?" She looked me in the eye for less then a mili second, then looked down at her hands. Almost like there was something she didn't want me to read in her eyes.
"Why?" I asked. I tried lowering my head enough to be able to look her in the eye, but she kept looking away.
She finally glanced up at me again, but this time she held her gaze "Please don't make me say"
Saying I was surprised was an understatement. I was so surprised I almost lost the ability of speech in fact! Almost... "Ok, I'll stay a few more days"
Chapter 5:
|
You'll NEVER guess where I am! Ok, so maybe you will....
On a spur of the moment, don't think before you... by a plane ticket, thing I... brought a plane ticket.. to New York City.. I moved to.. New York City. So now I'm in... New York City. Am I an idiot? My stuff arrives in a week and I don't have anything even resembling an apartment..
But right now I'm wasting time at a cafe! Uh-huh... having a nice HIGHLY caffeinated... thing. And suddenly I find myself feeling extremely perky!
This stuff is good!
"Is this seat taken?" A pretty blond of about 20 asked me, breaking me from my caffeinated reverie.
I glanced around the cafe, there were hundreds of empty seats. "Uh...no" I answered.
She smiled brightly "Great!"
I glanced at her "I'm not from Double Cross if thats what you think"
She looked at me strangely "I'd never have guessed" She said with a fake tinkly laugh.
Great! I'm stuck at a cafe with a weeeeeeeeeeeird flirtacious blond. Kill me now!
---Zac---
"Already?" I asked in shock. I was on the phone with Isaac, and he was talking about resuming the tour like... now!
"The more concerts we postpone or cancel the more fans we upset!"
I sighed "I know it's just..."
"Mary-Kate. I know. By the way, hows everything going?"
"Pretty good. It's just..."
"You don't want to jepordize this current peace by bringing up a tour she already despises"
"Well.. yeah.... Ike! I'm not 5 anymore. I'm capable of finishing my own sentences" I said irritably.
"Sorry. I forget sometimes" He said with a laugh.
"If I were there right now you'd so be getting it"
"But bro, the problem and the very reason for this phone call is.. you're not!"
---Michael---
When I said 'Kill me' I DIDN'T mean literally! Ok!
I JUST got to New York City, and my last intention was to run into Melanie straight away. But surprise, surprise and ever so typical, in one of the biggest city in the worlds WHO would casually stroll past the cafe window at the exact moment the blond touched my arm!
She looked so shocked when she saw me, like she'd just seen the worlds most wanted fugitive walking toward here. Though in her mind I'm probably that low, like some kind of axe murderer or something. Rather then a poor guy who was caught in the wrong in the wrong time... with his lips against the WRONG girl. BUT SHE KISSED ME! Ok... so I didn't pull away immediately but... um.... forget it. I'm getting off subject.
So her eyes widened in surprise to see me there... in New York City, then she took in the scenario and her face went red as blood and smoke like... flew from her ears... ok, I'm exagerating a little. But it was close! She then turned around and ran from the cafe.
And for some insane reason I find myself doing just what she wants me to do... following her!
---Ashley---
I was sitting on the sofa with a bar of chocolate watching... hmmm.. what was it again? Oh yeah, Gilmore Girls. It was one of the earlier episodes and Lorelei had gone shopping with her mother for a gift for Rori's birthday. Suddenly I feel an urge to shop..
Josh walked in from the kitchen, a mug of coffee in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. I eyed the coffee hungrily but he handed me the milk instead... saying something about Calcium being good for 'us'. I think, unbeknownst to me somewhere along the way I became addicted to coffee! And I REALLY need some right now!
"So what do you want to do today?" He asked.
I shrugged and took a sip of milk, grimacing at the unsatisfactory taste.
"Just a second. I need to call someone" He said as he got up and set his coffee down on the table.
I nodded and pretended I was engrossed in the tv show. As soon as he left the room I reached for the cup.
"Don't even think about it!" He yelled from somewhere on the other side of the room.
I glared at the spot his voice had come from, and made a little face. Then with a sigh went back to watching tv, glancing at the cup of coffee every couple of seconds.
---Melanie---
"Would you hold up!" Michaels frustrated voice yelled from behind me. I was running as fast as I could down the crowded street, but he was gaining on me quickly.
"I don't want to talk to you!" I yelled over my shoulder. I faced forward again and almost collided with an old lady. Busy New York City streets *mutter mutter*
"You're acting like a 2 year old!" He yelled back.
"And you're acting like some stupid rockstar!" I was almost hysterically screaming by this point and people were giving me funny looks.
"Maybe if you'd listen to me for 5 minutes you'd realize you're making stupid wrong assumptions!"
I froze then spun around "Assumptions?!" Stopping gave him the time to fill the remaining space between us. He grabbed my arm and pulled me inside the closest shop.
"I know what I saw!" I yelled, stomping my foot "And theres a difference between assumptions and witnessing something!"
Turns out we'd walked into a clothing store and a clerk walked over "Can I help you with anything?" She asked.
"NO!" I screamed, my voice still at the same pitched I'd been yelling at Michael at. She backed away looking scared and I immediately felt bad. Tears filled my eyes and I turned and left the shop. This time Michael didn't follow.